The current owner of The Armored Duck Tavern, Devlin Urelius Cornilius Kevin McDonaugh, aka “DUCK” McDonaugh, came into possession of said tavern by means of inheritance. The original owner was Devlin’s great, great grandfather, Falstaff McDonaugh.

Falstaff was a simple man who, in his younger years, enjoyed a good stout pint and indulged in the dangerous business of racing his griffin against the other young lads who were stationed at the Port of Stormwind. Falstaff was, by all accounts, an adventurous sort, and when he grew bored with racing his Griffin, on an occasion too many, found himself in the wilds of Stranglethorn Vale.

At that time, in the history of the Eastern Kingdoms, young folk stationed at the Port of Stormwind were not permitted to venture south of the border of Duskwood unless they were accompanied by a senior staff member. For young lads, in possession of a meager military salary, were not typically savvy enough to adequately maneuver the delicate negotiations required for business dealings with goblins. Falstaff was just the sort to thumb his nose at authority. He might not have been able to resist the urge to disobey orders, but he was, indeed, very capable when it came to avoiding being caught out of bounds in his off-duty hours. Some have even said that he was embodied with a supernatural ability to avoid authorities that were determined to thwart his less than legitimate activities.

Falstaff, as a young man who pursued bigger dreams of adventure and was in possession of fewer brains and common sense, would race his Griffin down to the Stranglethorn Vale capital city of Booty Bay. Falstaff took a shine to Miss Catelyn “The Blade” Rogueson who worked in the mid-level of The Salty Sailor as a barkeep and keeper of the peace during games of chance.

Miss Catelyn was the only child of Jutak Rogueson who is known throughout the Eastern Kingdoms as the finest bladesmith and rogue master in all the lands. Jutak was a wise and cunning man who knew that despite his best efforts, he would not be able to safeguard Catelyn her whole life, and so made sure that Catelyn could safeguard herself. And safeguard herself, she did!

It must be said that Falstaff McDonaugh had bizarre luck. The kind of which folksongs are

written. He either won big or lost in a devastating way. There was very little in-between for poor old Falstaff. Well, I’m not sure “poor” is the right word to describe him. He became financially well off due to his bizarre luck, but the cost of that luck was several fingers, a few toes, a nearly severed foot, and total loss of his left eyebrow. He was also often prone to fits of hiccups which ended his military career earlier than he would have liked, but he was financially well off enough from his less than legitimate business dealings (smuggling baby merlocs as pets) that he didn’t need his Navy pension.

Try as she might, Miss Catelyn just couldn’t resist the charming young sailor. Together, the two roamed Azeroth on adventure after adventure. After an unfortunate misunderstanding with the greater goblin community, and three more missing fingers, Falstaff and Catelyn decided it was time to settle down and live a simple life. They bought a small plot of land in Duskwood to the northwest of the Yorgen Farmstead where they kept a herd of ducks and lived relatively quietly for a short period of time.

The disruption of that quiet life came when Falstaff and Catelyn realized that they were nearly smack-dab in the middle of a prosperous trade route through some dark and dangerous territory. Merchants and travelers would knock tentatively on their doorstep and beg to stay in the barn for the night rather than try to make it past Vul’ Gol Ogre Mound to the west, or The Rotting Orchard to the east. The Yorgen’s lived too far back on their property to be of any use to anyone, so Falstaff and Catelyn were their only hope of not being beaten into Ogre stew or disappearing mysteriously in The Rotting Orchard.

Ever the opportunist, Falstaff asked Catelyn if they might build a small tavern to feed and house the weary travelers. Catelyn, well aware of her husband’s luck, and keen to have a little adventure in their retirement, wholeheartedly agreed. And with that, Falstaff and Catelyn added a tavern to the front of their duck ranch to house the weary traveler. They put together a small tavern with four rooms to let. Catelyn worked the pub area and Falstaff worked the kitchens with some hired help. The ducks pretty much ranched themselves after being fed, and happy as they were, laid eggs that the McDonough’s used in the tavern for meals. Thus, the Duck Tavern was born.

The Duck became so popular that the McDonaugh’s had to hire more help and increase the size of their duck ranch. Like everything else Falstaff touched when his luck was running to the good, the tavern took off and became THE place to visit in Duskwood, so much so, that The Duck underwent several expansions and eventually, it boasted 20 rooms to let, and a fine selection of various ales from all over Azeroth.

Over the years the McDonaugh family became very wealthy and began to think of themselves rather fancifully. So much so, that they began to give their children names that rang of royalty without the titles. To be honest, Falstaff and Catelyn would have hated it, but later generations don’t quite appreciate the mettle and intestinal fortitude their ancestors had to have to get them to that fancy life.

At any rate, that’s how Devlin Urelius Cornilius Kevin McDonaugh got his name. All the McDonaugh’s possess a fairly affable personality, if not a bit high-falutin’. The tale of Devlin’s bizarre luck, passed down from Falstaff, is how the “Armored” got to be part of the tavern’s name. It’s a story that involves, as all good stories do, the love of a kind and lovely young druid, a feud with an ill-tempered gnome who committed arson on the original pub, and a misfired curse from an incapacitated mage. Devlin, a paladin by trade, and turned into a man-sized duck, rebuilt the tavern, and thought it would be a good idea to capitalize on his misfortune thus renaming the tavern, “The Armored Duck Tavern.”

And that, my friends and weary travelers, is how the Armored Duck Tavern came to be. We sell a variety of T-shirts and plan to add other items in the near future (stickers, water bottles, beanies, etc.) to fund the search for a cure for Duck’s affliction.

In October of 2021, a tall and spindly legged young lady entered the classroom that would later become known as “The Armored Duck Tavern.” The young lady had short dark curly hair, bright blue eyes, and wore a white button up shirt with a sweater vest overlay, a plaid skirt, socks that nearly reached her knees, and a pair of white converse. “Ms. Bricker,” said she, “Mr. Weickum (the AP in charge of after-school clubs) said to ask if you would be willing to sponsor D&D Club.”

Ms. Bricker gave the young lady, who reminded Ms. Bricker of a tall, dark-haired version of “Annie” and was in her Honors Class, an appraising look. Poor Ms. Bricker had an unappealing experience with a previous club that had put her off clubs, for what she thought would be for life.

Ms. Bricker huffed out a weary sigh at the look on the young scholar’s hopeful face. She was sorely tempted to say no but found it difficult to say no to a young scholar’s dreams, especially since she was a bit of a nerd herself. When the student said she’d like to have the club run on Friday nights, Ms. Bricker thought for sure that she’d have 5 or 6 giggly girls in her room on a Friday after school for a couple weeks rolling dice, then custodial situations, vacations, etc. would get in the way, and by Winter Break, the club would be at an end and Ms. Bricker could return to her quiet solitude on a Friday evening, perhaps enjoying a dungeon run or two with her friends on WoW.

Little did she know or expect that the power of the middle school nerd is real and a force to be reckoned with. At that first meeting, fourteen little nerds showed up with the call of adventure in their eyes, and Ms. Bricker thought, “Huh, there might be something to this, but surely it’s a fluke and won’t last.”

Each DM came to club with joy in their hearts and purpose in their campaign, but little else - no maps, no mini’s, maybe two sets of dice if they were lucky. Yet each week, D&D Club grew and grew. That first year, the club grew from twenty to thirty nerds showing up each week to play. She reached out to the D&D community to ask for help with dice, advice, books, maps, minis, and anything the community could spare, and the call was answered again and again. Awesome Nerds from all over the state of Colorado helped in some way.

That second year, thirty to forty nerds showed up each week to play. Just before Winter Break of ‘22, Ms. Bricker had the audacity to cancel D&D Club to give way to the Winter

Break dance, only to find a gaggle of nerds standing at her classroom door after school that Friday shouting, “WHY did you cancel D&D Club? We don’t want to go to some stupid dance! We want to play D&D!” Having learned her lesson, Ms. Bricker has not cancelled D&D Club again for anything so silly as a middle school dance! Ah! The power of D&D! We now have a faithful forty that show up each week. We’ve had to split the club into two rooms just to have the space we need to visit all those worlds spinning in the minds of the brilliant nerds in our club.

Our school serves the homeless shelters of downtown Colorado Springs, and because of the work ethic of our D&D Club students, we are able to host concessions that usually pays for everything we need each year to keep our club running. D&D Club is one of the only clubs where all you need is a sense of adventure, a willingness to learn, and a way home promptly at 5:30PM in order to join. We provide everything else - to include a new set of dice every year (let the dice goblins rejoice). Dice are given to students at the end of each year so that they may play D&D over the summer.

This past year, the floors in the room concessions were held in, buckled. Concessions were closed for all but two events. In leu of concessions, we have been trying to sell T-shirts to help support our club. If you can purchase a T-shirt to support our club, we would be very grateful. If you don’t want another T-shirt in your closet, but do want to help, feel free to pay for a T-shirt and it can be donated to those students in need who can’t afford to purchase one for themselves. If you can’t do either of those things, please consider posting our website and promoting us on social media so that others may help fulfill the dreams of forty nerds and one grateful teacher!

The DM’s are also going to try to produce a podcast, and we need some help getting that off the ground. Each week, the DM’s will choose a topic and discuss it amongst themselves. They will also discuss their current campaigns, successes and struggles, etc. We need equipment, and we are hoping our T-shirt sales will be enough to make our nerdy dreams come true. If you can help support us, and have a business, we will post your website link on our page for the year. If you would like to let other Awesome Nerds know that you’re an Awesome Nerd too, we’re more than happy to give you a shout out on our Sponsors page.

May all of you have a crit kind of day!